Many suffer from toxic relationship patterns. It means feeling like you're always attracting the same relationship dynamics (suffering!) and/or attracting always the same kind of people (even though those people don't match not what you want).

What if changing your behavior towards your sexuality could influence your relationships?

You have the power to attract good or bad people into your life

We all actually have a lot of power over the type of relationship and the type of people we attract into our lives.

In a "modern" society where "casual sex/friends with benefits" is normalized, entering into a process of voluntary sexual abstinence is a decision that can be frowned upon or ridiculed.

However, getting out of the illusion of sexual intercourse "by physiological needs" or even "to get to know the other" is one of the great keys to changing your relational trajectory.

As long as you remain convinced that you need to have regular sex, or agree to sex for fear of not being desirable (or of disappointing a partner who wooing...or just because you're bored!), you'll continue to attract the wrong people.

Why?

1) Because you agree to not be selective enough and to share your sexual energy with partners who do not really correspond to you.

2) Because you choose sexual arousal over multi-dimensional compatibility with a partner.

3) Because you keep seeing "red" signals from these people and you keep knowingly ignoring them.

What is sexual abstinence for?

Dreaded by many, voluntary sexual abstinence has been recommended since the dawn of time by spiritual traditions around the world. Sexual energy is the creative energy par excellence.

Abstinence allows you to learn to master your creative power. It allows you to take a real step back on your relationship history, your real relationship needs, but also to become aware of the patterns in which you are used to engulf yourself without even think about it.

A period of sexual abstinence is also the best prescription for anyone who needs to learn to love themselves above all else.

How does it work in practice?

For men it is recommended to abstain from sex with a partner but also from masturbation (especially for men who tend to masturbate several times a day). For women it is generally advised to abstain only from intercourse with one partner.

Solitary pleasure can then be discovered differently, you can learn to make love to yourself.

The duration may vary but a minimum of 6 months is a good starting point (a duration of one year is generally recommended).

It is very common to experience phases of insomnia, concentration problems, obsessive thoughts. These phases can last a few hours or even a few days. They are not "unhealthy" per se, this overflowing sexual energy is healthy. On the other hand, you can learn to channel it and express it differently thanks to sport, art, dance...